At the beginning of last week, I started noticing that I was experiencing some of my old burnout symptoms. I felt like I’d failed because I’d already gone through this and come out the other side. But I’ve come to understand that I must be ever vigilant about my self-care, and I had been saying yes to things I needed to say no to and vice versa.
So, I decided to take a break. At first, I couldn’t unplug. I got caught up in world events and could literally feel all of the conflict going on (including within the larger spiritual community I’m part of) in my body. I began to feel more and more drained.
Then I got really clear about what I stand for: joy, compassion, non-violence (in all forms) and attentive listening and witnessing. That it’s impossible to know what another person is going through and put our own expectations on them. That I must only carry my own bag if I’m going to be able to have any positive impact. Believe me, it’s heavy enough.
I realized I’m a space holder, first and foremost, and that I must be able to be clear and strong enough in myself (and essentially get out of the way) in order to hold that space for others.
I had meaningful conversations with friends and colleagues to help process my feelings. I reached out to my own support team.
I realized that I must put my energy into uplifting myself and being around inspiring positive people who are also committed to change in the world.
And then I completely redid all my altars + cleaned, tidied & rearranged my office.
I attended Tarot, art and sacred business groups. Laid on the floor with crystals and listened to crystal bowls, pulled cards, meditated, journaled, watched Moana, made an Ayurvedic vegetarian food plan for the month, shopped, got the last of the three extra beds out of the house (yes THREE!), and hung out at a fair and watched my friend’s son play with a joy that was truly contagious.
And now I’m ready for my break! There is nothing to do tomorrow. *Exhale*