“When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real.”
-Mary Oliver from “When Death Comes”
I started my business in 2012 because I followed a call to a different kind of life than the one I was living.
I was in a cultural anthropology PhD program writing my dissertation on how hope for a city was embodied in a local arts scene. Say that three times fast.
I meant to write a poetic ethnography on the beautiful and sublime nature of everyday life. Before that I was looking at crop circles as a new religious movement. Life is a funny twisting kind of thing.
Now, I simply try to witness the beautiful and the sublime every day of my life.
You see, I was deeply depressed and anxious for most of my twenties. I was also a closeted lesbian. I felt trapped. And, the truth is, I wanted much more for my life.
My Big Why began with cliff walking.
An everyday pilgrimage I made to the shore where I lived:
Unfurling tea leaves + a page of mindful writing following my walk.
One step. Then another.
It continued with forgiveness.
Prayers and years of unravelling the anger I held in my body.
For the abandoned and abused child I once was.
For the ones who were just doing their best.
For the ways I’ve abandoned myself and others.
I learned that I was human. I learned about rage. I learned to forgive.
Compassion, loving-kindness and forgiveness are not just ideals but practices.
I believe these practices are very necessary for the world.
And then the poem: “When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real…I don’t want to end up simply having visiting this world.”
Everything I do. Everything. Is about expanding love, connection & inner bravery.
So we can do more than simply visit the world!
- I want an ever flowing kind of love and compassion.
- I want to live in a world where people are free to be themselves without fear.
- I want a world that is safe for lovers, and dreamers and me.
(Thank you Kermit…aka Jim Henson)
- I want you to know that choosing love over fear is a radical act.
Courage is an everyday practice too.
I am a soft place to land in a world that tries to tell us we aren’t lovable or worthy.
I care about what’s inside you that’s dying to come out. The parts you hide. The parts you feel aren’t okay.
And I do this excavating work too. Every day.
There is nothing better to me than witnessing someone tap into that thing inside of them that lights them up, that makes them powerful (in the best sense of that word), that they may not have even known existed.
I have spent my lifetime coming to understand suffering and how to live with it in an authentic way.
You don’t have to be positive all the time. Or happy.
You don’t have to pretend not to suffer or feel pain.
You are beautiful.
You deserve love, compassion and forgiveness.
No matter what.
I know of no other way.
What is your Big Why? Reply in the comments below! I’d love to hear about what lights you up!
And check out my self-paced workbook Your Soul’s Song!
It’s all about Finding Your Great Big Why!