But First a Bit About Being Lost…
A few weeks ago I was invited to talk a little about feelings of being lost.
So that we don’t feel alone in the lost.
The truth is, I often feel lost and immediately thought about how I could talk about being found. I looked inside and realized I didn’t want to admit I felt lost. In a culture that puts a lot of pressure on us for progress, isn’t it interesting that I put unconscious pressure on myself to not be lost!
I decided to sit with the question. My wise self knows there’s really no being lost, and that it’s the struggle for direction that causes suffering, but still I really like having direction. It makes me feel safe.
So, I started thinking about how to talk about getting lost.
First, Hecate’s crossroad’s came to mind. No wrong roads really.
Then I was reminded of Pema Chodron’s books: Wisdom of No Escape, Start Where You Are, and When Things Fall Apart. You don’t have to read these books to have a sense of what’s she’s talking about but I highly recommend them. There’s no being found really.
Finally, as I was editing a collection of Love Letters I’m sending out on Sunday, my own words struck me. I wrote Lean Back in 2013, and I was reminded that I’ve never wanted to add to the pressure we put on ourselves to make this great future. It’s always been about meeting the present moment for me. Huge exhale!
Let’s stop leaning forward and start leaning back!
These words repeat in my mind like a clunky mantra. Lean back.
My meditation teacher invites us to lean back–just a little–in our upright seated posture. Immediate comfort. Such a tiny thing.
I am reading Loving Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness, and Sharon Salzberg says that we are so often leaning forward into our experience. Trying to reach for something more. How this kind of desire causes suffering.
“Lean back,” she says.
I’m lying in bed. Semi-upright and on my side. Trying to fend off a cold and make sure I don’t wake from coughing. Each time I slip forward I try to lean back.
Just a little. And somehow it works. Relief.
There is some ease in this posture. A way back to center.
A reminder to stop trying to change what already is.
I think of coaching, and how I thought at first that it was a kind of leaning forward. Into a desired future. How I wrote a letter to myself to remember to be present.
To work in partnership with people to discover their own inner strength, goodness and peace right here in the present.
A kind of leaning back sort of coach.
Lean back into this life. Breathe back into the now.
Here is where the dream is made. As you go.