July 2014, Glastonbury

What I most likely looked like when I was told I didn’t look Goddessy enough.

In late July I was in a Glastonbury coffee shop talking to a local woman. We started chatting about finding places with consistent Wi-Fi and then moved on to how good the coffee was. It was a pretty friendly and unassuming conversation.

As I was about to leave I said goodbye, and she asked me how long I was staying and if I was there for the Goddess conference. I said that I was.

And then she looked at me and said,

“You don’t look very Goddessy!”


I believe I made a polite and quick escape but was left wondering why someone would say that and why it bothered me so much.

I realized it is just another way in which we police each other.

So, in Glastonbury-land this one particular woman wasn’t policing me for not being thin enough or wearing the right designer clothes. She was policing me for how alternative I looked and how feminine and flowy I happened to dress that day. Not cool!

What kind of gets me is that I feel like I walk out my door every day with a kind of risk. I am a fat lesbian with blue hair so Goddess-dammit I do look pretty alternative! And I don’t always feel safe or good about myself when I see how my appearance (or my choice to hold my partner’s hand while walking down the street) is reflected in the eyes of others.

Sometimes I just feel ugly and not right, and that’s not cool either!

You see one of the reasons I was drawn to Goddess Spirituality in the first place was because all of a sudden I saw myself reflected in these ancient and sacred images. All women’s sizes and ways of expressing both masculinity and femininity are seen in these images.

The feminine takes on a deeper and more complex meaning the more you learn about the Goddess.

This is important to me because it is the very ways in which women can be empowered, and not confined or restricted by societal norms, that keeps me coming back to the Goddess.

If you identify as a woman (even a little) then in my view all women look “Goddessy” because we are all embodiments of Her. It does not matter what you wear or how you look.

So no more Goddess policing please!

P.S. I told a lovely woman at the Goddess Temple Gift store what had happened a few days later and she laughed and said she showed up in jeans once to teach a workshop!