Category: Blog

On the Stairs

on the stairs he, he has just been screaming, screaming at my mother. I don’t know if he will stop. I don’t know how to speak and I want it to stop. don’t want him to come up to my room. what will he take? I gather my toys together. I have told this before. I gather myself together and…

On Stacy’s Seven Year Sobriety Anniversary

This is a photo of the strongest woman I know. Today is her seven-year sobriety anniversary. Yay! I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t been easy AND she continually shows up for her life, overcoming every obstacle that has been thrown at her. I’ve watched her grieve the death of her mother, both grandparents and brother-in-law. I’ve watched her lose…

Becoming an Oracle

Something I’m realizing/owning about myself is that I am an oracle. I’ve had a hard time truly admitting it. Feels too big for me somehow. My mind wants to explain away the messages I receive. The part of me that was raised an atheist wants to keep my spiritual life on the ground. But there is another part of me.…

Syncretism

This is a photo of a statue of Persephone-Isis from the mid 2nd century CE that I took at the Archeological Museum in Crete last spring. She’s holding an Egyptian musical instrument called a sistrum and is standing next to Pluto-Sarapis (not pictured). Cerberus (the three-headed dog and guardian of the underworld) stands between them. It is an example of…

Tough Girl

I wish I was more of a tough girl. You know, the kind of girl who can say “talk to the hand” and mean it. You know, the kind of girl spelt without an “i”. I remember reading Bottle Rocket Hearts by Zoe Whittall. She dedicated the book to all the tough girls she has loved, and I realized that…

Grapefruit

Reading over old writing. Perhaps, this is how I begin to write again… Grapefruit I cut in half the grapefruit, grieving,  pierce its skin, prepare it for my spoon remember our long conversation—ode to grapefruit—on our way to work: you, on your grandfather’s knee, tasting pink sweeter than white, its bitterness a cure for appetite. that day, in a library…

Being Seen

I’ve been thinking about what it means to be seen and take up space in the world. Today I had a fabulous conversation about being a woman and having a body with some truly amazing women. Having a body should be a simple thing. I have a body just like that cactus, tree or stone. I just am. And yet…

After Seeing A Star is Born

My partner Stacy is coming up to her 7-year celebration for her sobriety in a few weeks. When we met I knew she was an alcoholic. Often people will come to me and say how wonderful I am for sticking by her during that last phase of hitting bottom. And I’m here to say I was not wonderful. I was pissed off…

Honouring Old Lovers & Friends

Today I remember and honour every person I’ve ever been in love with. Thank you for being in my life and I’m sorry for the ways I may have hurt you. I honour that loves gets messy and painful and can sometimes feel like a tear-stained face or like you’re walking on air for the first time. I remember all…

Sharing from the Scar

I used to take memoir writing workshops with Anna Camilleri, author of I am a Red Dress, many years ago. I’d take the GO bus in and out of Toronto just to attend her evening workshops. It was a gift I gave to myself that I’ve never once regretted. One thing she taught me is that it’s important to share…