I’ve been thinking about what it means to be seen and take up space in the world. Today I had a fabulous conversation about being a woman and having a body with some truly amazing women.
Having a body should be a simple thing. I have a body just like that cactus, tree or stone. I just am.
And yet I’ve tried to shrink my body to make it more acceptable or lovable.
I’ve grown my body to keep myself safe from unwanted gazes.
I’ve quietly stood and taken it when people have called me fat as an insult. I am fat and it’s not an insult.
I’ve thanked people and smiled when they’ve complimented me by saying I’ve lost weight. It’s not a compliment because implicit in it is there was something wrong with me to begin with.
I’ve been polite when I’ve posted about having body shaming days with myself and received unwanted “advice.”
And today I remembered something: I’m a fierce femme! My body and pleasure are my own. They are not here to be consumed. My femininity, in the way I define it, for me.
And I love this photo Stacy took of me in Greece. She took it while I was doing one of my favourite things: photographing tarot cards on walks. When I first saw it I wasn’t used to seeing myself from behind like this and I had one of those thoughts that no one should ever have: “do I look okay?” Do I look okay for who I ask now?⠀
I LOVE this photo because what I see is a person who is part of the landscape and it doesn’t freaking matter what size I am. I have the body of the Goddess!
And it doesn’t matter what size you are either. All bodies are gorgeous.