This morning, I’m sitting by the fire and it’s quiet! Stacy and I spent most of the day yesterday putting the house back together after a week of photo shoots and cat fights. The cats are sleeping and I feel the tension start to lift as The Japanese House plays my favourite song, “Face Like Thunder” over our recycled bamboo Bluetooth speaker.
A sense of calm and clarity washes over me as I start to hear what’s in my heart.
As 2018 comes to a close in a few weeks, there is much that I want to put to bed. The last 16 months have been the most magical and the most painful of my life. I choose to learn as much as I can from it all, so I’m grateful for even the moments and people that brought me to my knees.
So, as I listen to Amber Bain (aka The Japenese House) sing,
“I kissed the floor, curled up in a ball
There’s nothing coming out of my mouth so I said
nothing at all”
I remember all the ways I’ve been cracked open and all the things I want to say. I remember the visions I have for my life and how I might best contribute to alleviating the suffering in the world.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we vision our world. There are lots of ways lots of people will tell you to what to do and what to think based on their visions. I’m not going to do that.
I’m a cultural anthropologist at my core and probably always will be. I see things 360. Somedays I wish I could switch it off but I can’t. I literally titled my dissertation “Arts in the City: Visions of James Street North” emphasis on visions…as in competing visions. People will fight to the death over their visions.
I’m coming to understand that a big part of my life path is about holding multiple, contradictory visions, without judgement and without saying one is better than any other.
This way of looking at the world is not easy and often means I can be misunderstood. It means that what I have to say doesn’t fall in line and can leave me curled up in a ball feeling mute. And yet, this is another place where:
I willing choose not to fit in and live on the margins of the margins. I say this from a place of strength. It’s a powerful place to stand.
I do have my own values I navigate my life by. At the end of the day, that’s what I can do. Visioning my life is an ever-changing personal excavation process that comes from within.
I find my vision in moments of stillness and quiet where I listen to my heart.
I encourage you too to find your own way too.
▪ Away from all the shoulds and to-dos at this time of year.
▪ Away from all the voices that will tell you that what is in your heart and soul is wrong or not good enough.
Let your life, what you love, and how you love inform your everyday visions for your life.
…and, of course, only if you want 😉